Three Gifts of Clarity
Getting hooked, then getting free and clear.
An innocuous fish hook is a symbol of getting caught up. Photo by Trophy Technology at Unsplash.
Hooks and Hearts
Janet was longtime church member, maybe twice my age at the time we met. I was riding my bike everywhere, including Sunday services and classes at the local Unity church. I had broken my left arm after getting hit by a car while riding my bicycle, and Janet noticed my arm in a sling the night we met in prayer class. Right away, she looked me straight in the eye and asked me, “How did this happen?” I was self-conscious and awkward, feeling I was to blame for the accident and somewhat freaked out and embarrassed by the question. Other people had asked me about my broken arm, and the humiliation was still jarring and fresh. I could not think in that moment. I felt like I was being busted as a spiritual dabbler and an impostor. My broken arm was proof that I did not know what I was doing, and I was somehow wrong. At the same time, I felt Janet’s kindness shining through her clear blue eyes. Finally, after a few painful moments, I blurted out: Yeah, I think I need to be more careful. “No. You are thinking about it now,” she said, smiling. I am? What? Checking in, I could feel only blankness inside (not a peep from my inner knowing), and so I said something like this (not my exact words, but close enough): It’s about awareness. It’s about being aware. “Yes,” she said, “And also about what you are believing about life.”
This felt like a gift that has been with me every since as a guiding question to “call myself out” and check on my thinking. It’s like asking, “What are you getting caught up in?”
The next gift was a story of an old fish swimming deep in the ocean depths. When you looked closely, the fish had all these hooks stuck in its mouth. Some hooks were broken. Some hooks were whole and still attached to bits of torn fishing line. Do you know why? Janet asked me. It’s because the fish had gotten entangled and then struggled a bit, but still got free. All those hooks mean that the fish got free over and over. Oh, my goodness. It’s a spiritual story about how you need to free yourself—free your mind and your heart of hurtful memories or ideas that have dragged you along or that you have dragged with you through time. You do this over and over. As many times as you need.
This memory of my interaction with Janet has come back to me as I have been considering these modern times we are living in. In the dazzling Information age, we are constantly surrounded by shiny objects, loud scary voices, and images that have the potential to hook our attention and our energy. If we are the fish in the story, we are surrounded by hooks everywhere! Going further, at the risk of extending the metaphor, being hooked is like being addicted or like being dragged along by a force or set of ideas that seems overpowering. But you can refuse the hook. It may feel like a struggle to hang on to your freedom at times. But it’s important to keep believing that it is possible to be clear as a way of moving through life. It’s also important to do things that keep you clear and to take action when you are clear.
Janet gave me three gifts. One of the three gifts was a little flat wooden heart with the word “wait” handwritten on it in a black Sharpie marker. Waiting in an engaged way is how you practice returning to clarity over and over.
“Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear”
- Lao Tzu
Wait. Wait for things to become clear. Wait and see what you are believing about life (expecting disaster or expecting love and support?). Wait for the muddy water to become clear, as Lao Tzu said. Wait for your authentic response to circumstances to come from the place of love and calm within you, not from pressure, anger, fear, hatred, or anxiety.