“Nope. Not today.”
What you say no to and how you say no are ways to take care of your mental health.
This is a photo of me at morning practice today wearing the “Nope. Not today.” t-shirt to celebrate World Mental Health Day.
It is World Mental Health Day 2024. This year’s Mental Health Day is centered around the concept of mental health at work. Given the times we are living in, I believe mental health is an issue not just at work, but everywhere.
Mental health is supported by little things we say and do every day. So, today’s blog post is about saying no in three ways that support mental health and wellbeing.
Try it: “Nope. Not today.”
To Set Boundaries: That thing that bothers me and causes me stress? Nope. Not today.
You might have to say no to yourself and to others sometimes. Practice normalizing saying no. Just saying no can be really hard and cause stress and anxiety. But saying the word “nope” and others like it might soften things and allow you to stay connected with others while keeping a helpful boundary. Here are other examples of saying a soft but clear no:
Not now.
Maybe later.
I don’t think so.
I will get back to you.
To Clarify Values: Is something not aligning with what I value and hold dear? Nope. Not today.
Gossip, negative thought patterns, unconscious and unhealthy behaviors, adverse influences, and unexamined logic all fall into this category of things not worth aligning with. Others: Sexism. Sloppy work. Keeping secrets. Self-doubt. Feeling victimized. Anger and rage. Election fatigue.
Hard pass. Nope. Not today.
This is a good one for self-regulating and guiding your thoughts and feelings toward more helpful things. Worth repeating.
To Accept Things As They Are: Something I expected to happen is not happening? Ah. Nope. Not today.
Saying, “Nope. Not today.” can be about accepting what is actually happening and surrendering to what really wants to happen. Say “nope” to what you thought was supposed to happen and acknowledge your expectations are not being fulfilled at this moment. Being in love with your plans, spinning your wheels, and bumping into futility with projects or people can be signs of hardening around expectations about how things should be. That sort of thing sets you up for a fight with what is really going on and can show up as tension in your body or tension between you and another person or group of people. Ah. Notice when something new or weird is happening, whatever it is, especially if it’s not what you had in mind or not what you expected or intended. This is feedback. Seeing the situation more clearly, you can then focus on using your energy more wisely and redirect your efforts. Maybe this means you try again in a new way. It can be as simple as taking a break and coming back later. Saying no in this way is about learning and being willing to adjust expectations. In doing this, you can see things in a new light and open up to something better, bigger, and more useful for yourself and others.
The three ways of saying “Nope. Not today.” show that saying no with intentions to take care of mental health can create space in the mind: That space is the place of possibilities in your mind, and it is a place of hope. In consciousness, this is the pure raw power of your mind that can think of anything, anytime, which means it is infinite. Embrace this power, because it’s the place where light, relief, and joy begin.